It sounds almost crazy to think we can change something that’s already happened and yet many people seem to live as if this were possible. My spiritual journey has taught me that the past is insignificant and I now pay little attention to it in my life.
For the benefit of this ‘my journey’ page, it feels important to explain that following a traumatic childhood and the death of my mother a few years ago, I found myself left with many unresolved issues and in a state of severe shock.
As desperate as my life situation felt at the time, it was holding the key to a wonderful journey of self-discovery that I’m sure I would never have embarked upon if it hadn’t been for such intense suffering.
From a very early age, I always aimed to be the best I could at whatever I did and my career was no exception. Having always wanted to be a radio presenter, I started in hospital radio and worked my way up the ladder to present for many of the world’s best known radio stations, including Capital Radio in London, Radio Caroline, BBC Local Radio and The Voice of Peace (Israel).
Broadcasting on these high profile radio stations was very exciting but I didn’t enjoy the pressure; I’d been much happier on smaller local radio stations. I eventually became disillusioned with the radio industry and decided to change career, although I did maintain an interest in radio and would soon return to the airwaves.
Bupa, the UK’s leading private healthcare provider, became my next employer and here I quickly rose high in the ranks becoming one of their top salespeople. This job brought financial reward for my achievements and such recognition as being invited to present my ‘Sales Success Story’ at their National Sales Conference.
I bought the dream home and car and for a while really thought I’d made it but that feeling didn’t last long. With all the acclaim and wealth that I’d achieved I still wasn’t happy, my life felt meaningless and hollow. Eventually my health started failing me and I was diagnosed with M.E/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
In hindsight, I see this illness was my body’s way of trying to stop me following the conditioning which had been running my life for years, and getting me to connect with my true purpose. It was time to leave a job which was no longer serving me, to give up some of the people in my life that were draining my energy, and to change many other aspects of how I was living.
Around this time my mother died of cancer and I found myself becoming so depleted of energy I had to stop work altogether. Somewhere deep inside, I became aware that it was time for me to withdraw from the life I’d known to make way for my healing process and spiritual growth.
Selling my house and car on the same day I moved to a Quaker retreat centre where I lived for nine months. I’m not a Quaker but found these people to be some of the kindest people I’ve met and felt the need to be in this type of nurturing environment for a while.
Calling on the ancient ‘law of attraction’ I changed my name to Energy, in the hope that I would draw much needed energy toward me, and began the spiritual practice of observing the processes in my mind to see what was going on and how I was reacting to different situations and events in my life.
I also started attending practical philosophy classes at ‘The School of Economic Science’ which were very helpful in raising my level of self-awareness.
Much of my healing time was spent abroad, and this took the shape of several long trips, to Mexico, India, Thailand and the Philippines. A big part of my healing process whilst in these countries was volunteering with babies in orphanages and children’s homes.
I was very fortunate to have discovered the teachings of Eckhart Tolle at the beginning of my spiritual journey. Fascinated by his suggestion that it was possible to live in the ‘Now’ dimension where life was no longer problematic, I made a commitment to myself to do all that I could to achieve this.
My focus at the time was all about reaching a state of enlightenment, but I eventually came to see the need to be achieving a title or accolade was just more mind-stuff and so shifted my attention to simply living in the ‘Now’ as much as possible.
Working with these teachings over the past few years has been extremely helpful to me. I still face challenges and difficult situations in my life but they don’t consume me in the way they used to. I’m also now able to access a place of stillness within me and when I find myself lost in the worries of the world, I know I need to become very present and return to the stillness.
I spent many years presenting music radio programmes but wasn’t sure about bringing my interest in spirituality to the airwaves. After some consideration I decided to go for it, and within a few months the Spiritual Matters Radio Show was On-Air and broadcasting to the folks of West Hertfordshire. It was one of the best decisions I ever made!
The radio show is currently on hold while I’m touring Asia but there are plans afoot for its return.